Thomas J. Nolan III, PhD

Norman, Oklahoma




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Austin Study Group


Applying the Power of Now Principles


Applying of the Power of Now Principles to our daily lives is a function of maintaining balance.  We live in a world that is out of balance and that makes it difficult for us to be in balance ourselves.  Our society is based on win-lose.  When we play win-lose, we must understand that someone must lose in order for us to win.  We play this win-lose unconsciously, so, in most cases, we are not aware we are playing this game. 

Being out of balance is also a consequence of our inability to deal or negotiate through emotions.

Concepts to Discuss

Balance – “Being in the Now”

What is better or more important than right now, right now?

Finding the Center Inside of Me – Connecting with Self Exercise

Win-Win vs. Win-Lose

Emotions: Taking Things Personally – Rate your life below of the LifeStyle Index, as you perceive yourself before today on a scale from 0 to 10, where (0) represents no energy or “dead” and (10) represents a state of total energy or “totally alive”.  Where along this scale would you rate yourself?


(0)                                                                                                               (10)


It has been my experience that most people see themselves at 7 or below.  At this point or below you will experience more and more difficulty getting into the ”Now” experience.  Next, chart yourself on the LifeStyle Index over a period of time, you will probably find that you are at several points up and down the scale.  Notice the high and low points.  At your low points, you may find it impossible or very difficult at best to achieve a high enough to be in the “Now”.  You will find it easier to get into the “Now” state when you are at the points, 8.5 or higher.  The higher you are above 8.5, the better.

No Positive or Negative – It just “Is”; “Let It Be!”

Do what you have to do; just accept what is.

We are all trying to avoid pain and move toward pleasure.

Negative States                                Positive States

Anger                                                  Success

Pain                                                    Adventure

Depression                                        Outrageous

Embarrass                                         Love

Frustration                                          Comfort

Humiliation                                         Security

Reality Constructs

My Reality vs. Your Reality

Is either one correct?

The 3 R’s (See Below)


The Three R’s


One of the most difficult skills an individual must develop is the ability to set aside his or her own perspective in order to understand the perspective of others.  Relating to others is one of the more important things we do everyday.  However, we have difficulty at times with some people whose perspective is different or not recognizable to us.  Communicating with one of these people is difficult at best.  There is a way to over come this problem.  We can implement the Three R’s Strategy.

The 3 R strategies are especially effective in situations of conflict.  It allows you a way of getting into another person’s head to determine the how, why and what of their thinking process.  In a situation involving conflict, we assume we know what the other person is thinking or that we know what they mean.  In a normal situation, we may come very close to determining the nature of other person’s thinking and thereby, determine what they mean.  In a situation of conflict, these assumptions can aggravate the conflict and cause added misunderstanding.  In these situations, your emotions skew your ability to pick up information clearly, which inhibits your ability to determine what the other person is thinking or exactly what they mean.  You might have a partial idea or even close but still not there. 

The 3 R strategies allow you to listen and get a feeling about the other person’s position.  Once you have an understanding of that position, then you have a chance to deal with that person.  To use the 3 R strategies, you must first put aside your own position, pay attention, and then listen to the other person with an open mind.

The 3 R strategies are as follows:

1)         R1:  Reality - a function of your ability to see the other person’s perspective and perception

a)         Test your assumption to see where the worker is coming from.

b)         See the other person's view

c)         The map is not the Territory

2)         R2:  Rapport - a function of your ability to build a bridge or connection with the other person

a)         Cooperation not confrontation

b)         Choose the Climate

c)         Address the other party's needs

3)         R3:  Redox - a function of your ability to share or exchange

a)         Create a deal where everybody wins

b)         Dependent to Independent to Interdependent

c)                  Cooperation, Delegation, and Growth


Next Meeting of the Austin Study Group


November 7, 2003

7:30 P.M. - 9:30 P.M.


6017 Ronchamps Drive

Round Rock, TX

(512) 388-2243


$ Love Donation ($15 – 20) $


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